Legend of Magmar
by Vetlog
Summary: Once upon a time, there was a cute little girl named Magda who was addicted to duck face, tanning salons, FakeBook and Instasham. And thus begins the legend of Magmar.


Once upon a time, there was a chubby little girl named Magda. She was a very cute girl who liked to take pictures of herself, using her myPhone 5 that she bought with her daddy's credit card, and posting them on FakeBook, Twatter and Instasham. She posted an average of one hundred pictures a day, on the bathroom mirror (doing the duck face), on her bedroom mirror (doing the duck face), in school (doing the duck face) with her friends (doing the duck face), and everywhere she goes (doing the duck face). She liked the duck face very much because she and her friends thought it made them look much cuter.

She was also addicted to artificial tanning. She loved spending most of her allowance on tanning lotions, tanning salons and trips to the beach. She never left the house without spreading gobs of tanning lotion on her skin, and made sure she stayed out at noon, when the sun is at its highest. With her daddy's money, she bought her own personal tanning bed, where she spent half of her evenings, although she also went to the tanning salon on weekends, because she liked their professional tanning. And, of course, after tanning, she took photos of herself (with the duck face, of course) and shared them via the Internet. Her friends all envied her super-tanned skin and wished they could have skin just like hers.

One day, Arceus was bored and was browsing stuff on FakeBook when he came upon Magda's profile. He felt sick in the stomach seeing her duck face smile and lobster-orange skin. _What an unfortunately ugly human female_, he thought, feeling the pangs of pity in his heart for this poor creature. He decided that he would watch over her so that he could help her with her plight.

It wasn't long before Arceus realized that Magda's unsightly thick duck-like lips and abnormally burnt orange skin weren't due to some horrible disease, but rather were brought about by her own will. Arceus laughed and laughed at his folly. "Ah what a strange little girl she is," said he.

And then, he had a great idea. "I know! Since she likes this look so much and it makes her happy, I'm going to make it permanent. Then she won't have to struggle making herself look this way." Arceus said the word, and it was done. When Magda woke up the next morning, she found that she had a permanent duck face and naturally orange skin.

She was so happy. She immediately took pictures of herself and shared on Instasham. "omg ducklipz n sooper tannz 4evah, so kewl!" she captioned. Her friends were so envious of her new look.

Unfortunately for our heroine, the next day duck lips and extreme tanning became out of style. They were replaced by other fads, like the beauty queen grin and the Snow White skin. Now, girls grinned as hard as they can and powdered themselves white as chalk (some even took glutathione and bleached themselves silly) then took photos and shared them on the Internet.

But poor, poor Magda. Because of her permanent duck lips, she could never grin, hard as she tried. Because of her cooked-crustacean-orange skin, she could not give herself a white color, no matter how much powder and bleach and industrial-grade white paint she used on her skin. Now, her friends laughed at her because she was stuck in a has-been fad. She even became the subject of taunts and cruel memes that we still find floating on the Internet.

Drowned in her shame, Magda left the human world and wandered, looking for a place where she could belong. She eventually found her way to an active volcano near where a local tribe lives. To her surprise, the natives revered her as a deity of the volcano. Finally she had found her true home. Magda was very happy.

Later on, she found a young man who, just like her, was similarly blessed by Arceus but was shunned by the civilized world. They fell in love and made many duck-faced fiery-orange babies together.

And that was how the Magmar came to be.


End file.
